A Decade of Blogging

My seventeen-year-old self wanted to surreptitiously enter this cool world that some camp kids had entered – “Xanga.”  This secret world held their innermost thoughts, publicly posted on the internet.  So it all began with this post.  Yes, I did use the phrase “big ups” and yes, I talked about cancer and God.  Not much has changed.  In 2013, I’m still writing about cancer and my life with God, though I don’t anticipate using the phrase ‘big ups’ again.

I hit a blogging slump somewhere in the fall.  Why am I still blogging?  What am I trying to do?  Say something meaningful?  Share my life?  Share ministry stories and prayer requests?  At 17 I felt certain about myself and where I was going, black and white, statements of fact.  At 27, I feel more limited and submitted in my life direction, I feel the spectrum between black and white more fully, I have more questions than answers, and I deeply desire room to be and wonder without clearly defining limits and expectations.

No longer does this blog feel like a factual space to state “this is black, and this is white, and so it shall always be.”  I am not that person anymore, and perhaps its fitting that this blog shouldn’t be, either.