My boy Oswald wrote…

“Thomas answered and said unto Him, My Lord and my God.”

John 20:2
“Give Me to drink.” How many of us are set upon Jesus Christ slaking our thirst when we ought to be satisfying Him? We should be pouring out now, spending to the last limit, not drawing on Him to satisfy us. “Ye shall be witnesses unto Me” – that means a life of unsullied, uncompromising and unbribed devotion to the Lord Jesus, a satisfaction to Him wherever He places us.

Beware of anything that competes with loyalty to Jesus Christ. The greatest competitor of devotion to Jesus is service for Him. It is easier to serve than to be drunk to the dregs. The one aim of the call of God is the satisfaction of God, not a call to do something for Him. We are not sent to battle for God, but to be used by God in His battlings. Are we being more devoted to service than to Jesus Christ?

Taken from ‘My Utmost for His Highest’, by Oswald Chambers, January 18

Transition brings all my character flaws and strengths into sharp focus.  Because nothing is the way it was, I find myself questioning my habits, my opinions, my daily life.  And reading this devotional back in January (writing requires extra mental capacity which I do not have. Sue me.) was like getting a side stitch while running –OW–you have my attention!

“What am I doing here?  What am I about?  What does it mean to be a minister here?  How do I show the love of Jesus without words, because I have them not? What good is a ฝรั่ง here?” And suddenly I found myself evaluating my time and attitude against, “What am I producing” instead of “what would you have me here for, Jesus?”  Jesus, I can sure do a lot of stuff for you!  Watch me!

Beware of anything that competes with loyalty to Jesus Christ.  What is competing with you, Jesus, in my heart?  The greatest competitor of devotion to Jesus is service for Him.  It is easier to serve than to be drunk on the dregs.  Surely I can find my meaning, purpose, and worth in having a busy, full schedule, doing “ministry” (what does that word even mean, really?) rather than waiting on Jesus, being entirely focused on Him, and finding my delight in His arms.

A harried, hasty life is easier to  justify than one in which I can only say, I am responding to what Jesus would have me do.  The temptation to do and fill my life with activities presses in daily – but what is most important to me?  Who do I love?  In whom do I find my delight and joy?  And in this season of “broken hands,” when I barely understand most things around me, when I cannot use words, Jesus, let nothing keep me from being drunk on the dregs.